You can’t be physically intimate

because you are so far away.

A LDRR starts from the physical distance where couples are miles apart from each other. With this distance, you are not able to meet each other as frequently as usual. With this distance, you cannot be there instantly when the other person needs you, even though what they need is just a simple hug…

It is all about negotiation

and compromise.

In a LDRR, time difference could be one of the most annoying problems for some couples. You’ll always need to coordinate with the other person’s schedule, calculate the time and wait for them. Some people even sacrifice their sleeping hours just in order to talk to their partner.

Technology can be irritating.

Since the lack of physical contact, you rely so much on various communication mediums to connect with your partner. However, while a simple text can symbolize a partner’s affection, silence may communicate indifference. Moreover, when you both finally get some time to talk, technological problems could always make your lives even harder…

TRUST is the key.

Once you fail to contact the other person, you might start thinking of some negative situations. It is totally normal. But maybe first try not to freak yourself out. Partners in LDRRs propose that trust is one of the most important factors to maintain the relationship. After all, apart from believing in the other person, there is nothing you can do really.

Benefit from your own time

and space.

Of course, there will be some hard times that you feel incredibly lonely, especially when you look around and see that couples are everywhere, having sweet moments together. But on the other hand, as having your own time and space, it could be a good opportunity to become independent, explore things you like and turn yourself into a better person.

Keep the memories.

Being apart from the other person, some people keep a specific thing that reminds them of their partner. Sometimes it is not about the object itself but the stories and memories behind it. According to Sahlstein, 'memories are resources for maintaining a sense of a relationship and a positive attitude toward their partners'*.

* Sahlstein, E. (2004). Relating at a distance: Negotiating being together and being apart in long-distance relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 689–702.

Qualitative communication

is essential.

Communication is essential to every relationship*. The more things you share, the more you trust each other, the more secure and intimate you feel. From previous studies, experts suggest partners in LDRRs increase both small talk and talk about salient beliefs rather than avoid potential areas of disagreement during their interactions**.

* Duck, S. W. (1994). Meaningful relationships: Talking, sense, and relating. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications.
** Stafford, L., & Merolla, A. J. (2007). Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24, 37-54.

Mutual future goal is crucial.

Uncertainty is always one of the biggest challenges in LDRRs. Anticipation could be a huge motivation for you to keep the relationship going. It is not only about long-term goals, but also short-term plans. Research shows that stability upon LDDR reunion was positively linked to frequency of face-to-face contact during separation*. Nothing is likely to replace FtF interactions. So why not make an actual plan meeting each other. Be prepared and be excited!

* Stafford, L., & Merolla, A. J. (2007). Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24, 37-54.